Why People Are Saying JD Vance Has Sex With Couches

AutopilotR
Estimated read time 6 min read


Have you been seeing a lot of memes this week about JD Vance making passionate love to couches? You’re not alone. Social media sites like X and TikTok have been flooded with jokes about the Republican nominee for vice president and his supposed history of fucking couches outfitted with a latex glove. But where did this rumor get started? And why is it so funny?

To be clear from the outset, there’s no evidence Vance has fucked a couch. To the best of our knowledge, the senator from Ohio has never taken a latex glove, turned it inside out, and placed it in between some couch cushions so that he can penetrate the furniture like it’s a human partner. This has never happened. Probably.

So where did this meme get started? It can all be traced back to a since deleted tweet by X user @rickrudescalves.

“can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181),” the X user wrote.

Tweet that started the rumor JD Vance has sex with couches.
Screenshot: Twitter

Vance’s book, Hillbilly Elegy, does not contain any passages about having sex with couches, not on pages 179-181 or anywhere else. But there are plenty of other odd stories from the book that have since gone viral, including one about his indignation at being served sparkling water. There have been jokes and fake screenshots about the sparkling water, but the basic story is true if you can believe it.

But let’s not get sidetracked. We’re here to talk about JD Vance and the fact that he doesn’t penetrate couches. The tweet that started the entire couch-fucking rumor was sent out on July 15, the same day it was announced that Donald Trump had chosen Vance as his running mate. And while it took a little while to percolate, it’s become a widespread meme.

We’ve compiled some examples of the meme below, just in case you haven’t seen it. But it’s pretty much everywhere at this point. And it’s probably going to have a long shelf life as Vance and Trump continue their campaign to make this country so much worse.

X user @Eagleman42069 shared a very good meme clearly found elsewhere on the web that reads “my girl stupid thicc.”

Another viral video shows Vance with a montage of couches, set to the song “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar.

X user @snchalmers79 shared a particularly fancy couch that may appeal to Vance. Or anyone who’s really into couches.

A fake politician account that goes by the name Rep. Jack Kimble tweeted about the Vance story while pointing out the vice presidential nominee’s extreme position on abortion.

Then there’s the meme that riffs on the “this bad boy can fit so many” joke.

And it wouldn’t be a romantic meme video without a little Barry White music.

X user @christweetsllc shared a gif from Chappelle’s Show that reimagined it with a Vance twist.

Gifs from the show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia have also been popular, with this one showing Danny DeVito emerging from a couch.

GIF from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia showing Danny DeVito emerging from a couch.
Image: 9GAG

Other memes, like this one on Reddit, incorporated a reference to Diet Mountain Dew. Vance made an absolutely bizarre reference to the soda at his first solo campaign rally, trying to say people would call the drink racist. It’s not entirely clear what he meant since it was so out of left field.

 

A Reddit user shared a meme that even included the latex glove in a movie poster parody.

X user Eric Allen Hatch turned the incident into a Twin Peaks reference.

 

Still, another person shared a couch that may have the qualities Vance is looking for in furniture.

X user @eagleman42069 had another joke about pulling out.

Then there were the photoshops that suggested Vance wasn’t welcome at furniture stores.

But what if I pretend to be a couch, what then?

There are, of course, some people who seem to think Vance may have actually fucked his couch. And given how strange Vance is, that’s not surprising. The guy has negative charisma and if anyone looked like a guy who regularly penetrated his couch, it’s this weirdo.

Not all of the jokes have been memes that use images or videos. Some are simple one-liners like “jd vance: da sofa king of kings,” tweeted by Illumi on Bluesky.

As you can see, there are so many jokes to choose from. Meanwhile, the side of the political coin that supports Vance just can’t help itself with extremely racist memes about Kamala Harris.

The election is just a little over three months away and Harris will now seek to energize voters in a way that’s already been truly impressive. The vice president has been talking about the dangers of Project 2025 and touts her credentials as a former prosecutor who can take on the convicted felon Donald Trump.

Nobody knows what’s going to happen for certain when Americans go to the polls in November. But Democrats are feeling much better than they did a couple of weeks ago. And while Harris supporters joyously post coconut tree memes, the Republicans are trying to figure out how to elect a neo-fascist felon and a guy who may not have fucked a couch, but certainly sounds like the type who would.





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