During the winter holidays, it’s easy to feel torn between shopping for “must-buy” deals and cutting back on spending. But many households have gotten rid of the stress of buying through a no-gift holiday season.
That’s what Lisa Sibbett and her family did. After two of Sibbett’s siblings died unexpectedly, it felt like Christmas was wrecked. “We had several years of basically canceling Christmas and making new traditions because we just didn’t want to deal with the Christmas morning sadness,” Sibbet said.
Opting out of the commercial side of the holiday helped the family realize what mattered to them: spending time together. After a few years, the traditional Christmas gathering and decorating returned, but gift exchanges have remained mostly out of the ritual.
Sibbett, now 44, said she was fortunate to have a family that wasn’t too attached to buying and giving presents. It only took a few casual conversations with family members to eliminate their expectations for gifts on birthdays and other holidays.
If you want a no-gift holiday season, regardless of your financial resources, here are some tips that can reshape your traditions.
Read more: Holidays on a Budget: 5 Tips to Save Money This Season
✔️ State your no-gift rule
Gift-giving is so central in our celebrations that you might have to work to train friends and family to understand why you’re not participating. The same goes for enforcing a rule that your family is no longer receiving gifts.
“Giving and receiving are equally stressful to me,” wrote Portland-based writer Rebecca Enberg in her newsletter, Your House Machine. Enberg successfully rallied her friends and family to minimize — and in some cases eliminate — spending money on gifts during the holidays and celebrations. She’s emphatic with her loved ones about her family’s desire to avoid gift exchanges. On invitations to celebrations, she writes, “no gifts, please.”
Read more: No, You Don’t Have to Give Holiday Gifts This Year. How to Skip It Without Shame
✔️ Redirect gifts toward charity
You can also discourage those who feel like they have to give something by offering an alternative use for their money. Enberg recommended donating to a cause you believe in or buying a book for a nearby Little Free Library.
That makes room for others to feel the satisfaction of giving to a good cause and lets you off the hook.
Read more: Don’t Give in to Gift Guilt This Holiday Season. Expert Tips to Curb Debt and Overspending
✔️ Focus on experiences
One way to show your generosity during the holidays is to put your time and resources into shared experiences, like gatherings instead of material goods.
Illinois writer Michelle Teheux said her family has cut back on spending in recent years, and only the grandchildren receive gifts. The adults either take a trip together or make a meal for the holiday instead.
“I did learn during the pandemic and with no money that I can’t skip Christmas,” Tehuex said.
Read more: Need Money for the Holidays? Here’s How to Get It
✔️ Offer your time
When money is tight, offer your time to loved ones. You can make them a meal, help them run errands, watch their kids, clean their house, tutor them, teach them a new skill or anything else that could bring joy or make their lives easier.
Read more: Tired of Secret Santa? 5 Budget-Friendly Holiday Gift Exchanges to Try Out
Make the change gradually
You don’t have to drop gifts cold turkey in a single season. If you’re surrounded by friends and family who cherish a gift exchange, you might want to ease out of your obligation to buy presents slowly over a few years.
Sibbett said her experience was gradual. Even though an unexpected tragedy prompted her family to change traditions, giving up the holiday ritual was a slow process that took several years.
“First, it was just about what we wanted… away from the Christmas frenzy,” she said. “And then that started being sort of more clearly aligned around values.”
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