Helldivers 2 might take place more than a hundred years into the future, but it seems like Super Earth either didn’t learn any lessons from Steven Spielberg or his classic movies are now lost media since High Command is literally planning to build a Jurassic Park knock-off filled with alien bugs – and that always, totally, 100% ends just fine.
Helldivers once again claimed victory over another Major Order this week, successfully creating a protective border around the planet of Acamar IV and paving the way for Super Earth’s first-ever ‘Termind Research Preserve.’ An in-game transmission from higher ups explains that “our intrepid Xenoentomologists have conducted the first of many specimen collections, and are already reporting great strides towards our understanding of E-710 extraction and exploitation.”
“Past lessons learned from the failure of the Terminid Farms have been applied to guarantee the Preserve’s security,” High Command’s note continues. “The Terminid population is monitored at all times by SEAF Wardens, and encircled by electrical fencing above – and below ground. And in the unlikely event of a containment breach, nuclear bombardments are set to automatically trigger.”
Nuking an entire species doesn’t exactly seem like the best way to ‘preserve’ anything, but High Command’s plans get even more worrying when it starts to delve into a new “Tyranny Park” that’ll be open for “adventurous and well-paying citizens” to see the critters up close. “This exciting venture will both help fund future research, and deepen our citizen’s understanding of the horrors of Tyranny.”
Civilians trapped in a theme park full of angry, very hungry aliens is a recipe for disaster, but also probably an even better recipe for a future Major Order that can be spooky and spoofy all at once. And our victories aren’t just enabling High Command’s bad ideas – the latest will apparently “allow the construction of the DSS to continue on-schedule.”
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